#10 Lottie O'deal Kay Pharris ........ My Great Aunt O'deal


Lottie O'deal Kay Pharris
July 4, 1916 - January 18, 2011

There are a "lot" of "Lotties" in my family.  One of them died this week.  She was one of 13 children and the sister to my paternal grandmother.  I didn't know her as "Lottie," I didn't know her well at all really, I haven't seen or talked to her in over 20 years.  It's as much my fault as it is anyone elses.   I guess this is the "drift" that was intended by the writing prompt that I wrote about in  humgan #9?  We just had our own lives and  connected by relation, name, and really accident more than anything.    I didn't "grow up" around my family members really.........but my middle name was always a "reminder" to me that the name "Kay" was important enough to someone to give it to me.

She appears to be beautiful  inside and out by what is written in the memorial obituary.  It's sad to really feel that and yearn from that based on words after someone is gone.  Why didn't someone write this when I was much younger so that I would have sought out a relationship with this person with whom I share a "history" of some sort.   I remember as a child that she had beautiful children with names that I loved.  They all were  nice, thoughtful and  true southern belles around me.   I heard tales though............don't mess with a "Kay." 

Something happened in the family at one time.............something bad ............ somehow ........people got caught in the midst of a lot of finger pointing and there was a "great divide"  ......details about this situation are sketchy and I don't know enough to speak out loud about without somehow telling an untruth I am sure.....but .....the side that the adults that were in control of who I talked to........ was the "opposite side" and this impacted who I am or maybe who I am not in some ways ........... that's all that I know with certainty.

She lived to be "94"  I am the reverse of that "49" as of yesterday. A few people have said that I resemble her.  I know that my Grandmother does look like the photo on the left with the dark dark thick and curly hair. I didn't inherit that ........but I can see some similarity in the eyes, coloring and cheek bones......when I look really hard.  Its not that I am trying to say or imply in anyway that I mirror her, as I really wouldn't know if I did or not. I have only been around her a handful of times in my adult life.  What a shame.  I often wish that I had grown up in Natchitoches where I could know my family like family members should.   I missed out on being around a few people that have sparkled like jewels..............from afar.

My Aunt Odeal, married to my "Uncle Kermit."  I have never met another "Odeal" in my life and the only other Kermit that I knew in my life that wasn't in my family , was on Sesame Street.

Aunt Odeal wrote me a few times when I was a  girl, directly to me.  Only a few family members did that, she was one of them.  She would tell me about her husband,  and children who were beautiful and successful in most things that they did in life.  Thinking about it now, maybe she was trying to find out if I was okay.  I don't know..........I will never know.  

She and Uncle Kermit were married for over 70 years.   I don't know if I have ever met anyone that has celebrated that many anniversaries. Her Eulogy speaks for itself, its well written........and speaks about a "good long life."  They apparently had some great qualities that were not even mentioned because actions speak much more loudly than words and Karma does too. 

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