Most remember people when they pass away by trying to remember the good times, good memories or good words. Sometimes , depending on the deceased, those words are hard to find. Not in this case ...this case was my cousin's husband...my cousin in law..... Charles Rex Scott.....the family calls him Scotty.
You see he has made many friends in this world for many reasons and I have watched the news reports and have heard so many great words about this man, I am proud to call "family" , although I didn't know him as well as he knew me.
When my Father was dying, the first relative I called was my Aunt Letha Lee, the 2nd...my cousin Alexis.
Alexis and Scotty live in a nearby town and the town has so many great things to say about their elected official "Judge Scott" now serving as the D.A. ...
here is a great description of here here in this article to understand more clearly who he was to so many people. My best take away from the article is that his words were chosen carefully and sometime no words were said at all by this smart and caring man, who was responsible for the livelihood of so many including several of my family members.
The Farm. I got a chance to visit what I call our family farm, when in reality it is not. It is Sonny and Alexis' farm...the one they take care of that they bought from my cousin Kenny, who inherited the family farm. It is beautiful there and holds many stories from many family members and will for generations to come. I was particularly taken by two things inside the house at the farm. One was a block counter island that Scotty and Sonny built from a roadside desk that they picked up and crafted into this beautiful heirloom that even the finest of mansions would be proud to display.
The other thing that struck me was the bulletin board of photos. Photos , articles and cards from the two families. My two cousins that are siblings combining their family memories and marking them there in that house , eating hot tamales and making Jelly. I am so proud of them and I know so would my Grandma Kay....not to mention my Aunt Odeal and Uncle Kermit.... I know if there is a heaven they are there and I know if they can "see" they would be very proud.
I did not get to break bread , not even once, with Alexis and Scotty during the two visits in two years but I was happy to see them , but unhappy about the circumstances (3 funerals). It was different with my cousin Sonny, we talked on the phone almost everyday, picked up where we left off and he single handedly walked me and my dying grandmother through some very difficult times.
Scotty was in the background though...don't get me wrong. He supported my efforts in every way that he could from afar. Alexis offering a firm hug and sound advice too and showing up at just the "right moments" even helping me to decide the "proper" way to make a tombstone for geneiological purposes, something I would not have cared about nor thought about otherwise.
Scotty was a pall barer for my family members. Standing there helping to move them to their final resting places and Alexis held my hand tightly as I said goodbye the best way I knew how.
I sat outside on a bench outside of the funeral home hands covering my face crying uncontrollably and publicly (kind of) not really caring who was near or far ...but away from the autrocities and the most hypocritical burial I had heard of or read of ..... ever.
and then this voice , this stern, quiet voice whispered in my ear......."everything will be okay, Anjela"
I looked into Scotties eyes disbelieving that he could even fathom that would be the case, "how could anything EVER be okay, after what was happening inside?" I looked at him and asked , "do you promise?" and he nodded , looking me squarely in the eyes and said "Yes, I promise."
The man who chooses his words so carefully and many times utters none, said the words to me that I would hang on to throughout my battles and struggles with the wrong doings in my fathers death....
Just like that.
No warning. He was found in his hotel room, he died of a heart attack they say. They also said he had a big compassionate heart too..... I wonder if it was all used up, beat up from the many things he saw in his job and everyday life in the courtrooms?
I won't be at his funeral, my face and body would be lost amongst the masses....I can't leave home now I am booked to work weddings and proms and things that cannot be rescheduled. The people that will be there all knew him much more than I did even though they may have not known him as long. or be "family." They will be there.
I can only say that I will remember him and his words over the phone, and on that very important day forever.
So now I struggle with the same words ...... to my beautiful cousin, Alexis, her kids and grandkids....."
"It will all be okay"
I know it doesn't sound with the same resonance of the voice of a Judge, You may not believe me at all..... but...
I don't know that from the bottom of my own heart I know it from his.....
Scotty's Heart Said So.
He will be missed by so many .